sista soulja...

The original house of tacos...

I think that I will be very fond of this picture when I'm older in my fifties. It's sort of any end of youth kind of photo; the kind of photo that exists in my parents scrapbooks of themselves from the seventies with my father's facial hair and youth. Those photos always looked kind of funny, but I guess it's my turn and in about twenty years I'll be in that same position. In fact, the environment of the "Original Taco House" is very reminiscent of a different era where my father and his friends could have been laughing it up with a couple of margarita's. On the other hand, my father had his first child by my age. I'm glad that's not me. I'm happy where I'm at.

my friend, critical...

my friend and producer michael louzao's album is now for sale on his myspace page. it's a mix of electronica, indie rock and a little bit of r&b if he doesn't mind me saying. my favorite tracks on his myspace page are "let it out," "migration" and "the birds." listen, enjoy, and if you really enjoy, buy.

myspace.com/criticalbeing

Happiness and Diet

Somewhere around the time I became a teenager I began to become sad, in a general sense. Not everyday was really bad, but there was always an atmosphere of depression that engulfed my daily existence. Year after year it was becoming more apparent that it wasn't going away anytime soon, so I bought the smashing pumpkins records and sulked in the bedroom, learning how to play siamese dream and mellon collie and the infinite sadness on my mexican-made fender strat. Each lyric and every guitar line became my gospel.
Sometimes, when I sign-up for a research study to make some easy money, they'll ask me a serious of questions that will include one about depression. "Have you ever suffered from depression?" I'll answer "yes" and then they'll ask me "when did this occur?" which seems like such an absurd question, like it ever completely went away. But, as I'm getting older I'm beginning to see everything much more clearly about why it began when I did and why it always continues to a certain degree.
When I became a teenager my mother stopped cooking for the family every night. I had more freedom of mobility with my new driver's license and became more responsible for my dietary needs and schedule than ever before. I ate more tv dinner, fast-food and soda than I ever did before. That's probably when my caffeine addiction began, shooting my mental state in all directions. In the past decade the happiest, most productive times were probably the five months when I stopped drinking soda (which didn't last) and the two years I was a vegetarian. Looking back at everything it seems so obvious now and I can't believe that I just didn't understand how linked my diet and happiness levels where aligned. I'm grateful that I understand that now when millions of people just don't seem to get it, that much of the modern diseases and ailments are induced by poor diets of processed food and legal addictions. It's hard to blame them when the media is no help. Rarely on television when they're doing investigative reports on things like children on medication and why america is so depressed and angry do they ever link diet and emotional state together.
but, alas. i'll end this rant.

Adventures in insomnia

I spent last night "slipping in and out of consciousness" as Thom Yorke says in his song Harrowdown Hill. For those who have never experienced insomnia and would like to know how it feels if it ever happens to you, basically it's like your your person (mind, body, etc.) wants to fall asleep, but everytime your mind gets to the point that it wants to shut off and your eyes are closing you pop back into consciousness, semi-violently. According to wikipedia, it's probably a combination of stress and caffeine consumption, so I better lay easy on the lattes for a while. I'm hoping that this won't happen again tonight.

Anyway, I'd like to mention that the picture on the bottom of my page was created by Cara Buchalter who specializes in "retro images based on the classic Art Deco form."

http://octavineillustration.blogspot.com/

http://www.octavineillustration.com/